Hurts so good— wait. What?

Are you a self-respecting human being?

If you answered yes, do yourself a favor and stay far away from Kristen Britain’s Green Rider series. If Kindle had not been so dang insistent, I too would have remained at a safe distance (#ignoranceisbliss).

Unfortunately, the Kindle app on my phone recognized a pattern in my reading choices. The miniature “Green Rider” book cover began popping up under the recommended books section. I could not help but take note of the gray and green cover with the large brown horse and panicked rider.

(Sidenote: The reason I could not overlook the cover is two-fold. First, there are only like 20 recommendations and as I do not often buy books through Kindle— #paperbackkeepsthehatersback— they do not often change. Second, and this is the embarrassing one, I have been known to read a romantic Kindle Single or two, so a lot of the covers look like this or this. Naturally, the cover of a fantasy book stood out a bit.)

Kindle proved to be more stubborn than I. The book failed to impress me the first time I read the free sample. However, reviews from 405 readers averaged 4.5 stars out of 5. The book kept popping up, so eventually I gave in a second time— and had a blast following Karigan G’ladheon on her journey across Sacoridia on the back of strong-willed Condor.

I tore through the book and immediately plunged into a #bookhangover (you know what I am talking about). Amazon assured me the book was not a standalone. There were five in the series.

“This is wonderful,” I thought to myself. “All of the books are out!”

Ok, so that one was my fault. I get that. I should not have been so presumptuous, because you know what they say about assuming. I launched into the second book, devoured the third, and spent Christmas dollars on the fourth and fifth. And here is where reality exploded in my face.

The fifth is not the last book (and it departs from the style/storyline of the first four books). Further research brought the publication date of each novel to light:

Unknown Unknown-1 Unknown-2 Unknown-3 Unknown-4 IMAG2001

(1998)          (2003)         (2007)          (2011)           (2014)         (#didthemath)

Four to five years separated each of first four books. I know the last one came out three years after the first, but arguments could be made the fifth book could have used more time in the editor’s lounge. I know that sounds catty, and that is not usually my game, but she threw a curveball. (If you read the Bridget Jones post, then you know how well I handle those curveballs.)

What can I say? I have been spoiled by the prompt turn-around times of Meg Cabot, Rachel Caine, and Patricia Briggs. Heck, the millennials reacted like B.F. Skinner’s rats to the every-other-year release dates of the Harry Potter (<– #justforfun) books. We lined up like well-trained pups every other summer for the newest installment.

So this is what I face: either another three to four years before the next installment, or a book that holds little resemblance to the first four. It is like being told you can go to Disney Land— in three years. Or, your favorite singer comes to town, but the head-banging rocker is suddenly picking his way through a bluegrass tune on a banjo.

If you have the patience of a saint and enjoy fantasy books, I recommend you check out the series. If you are anything like me, set a Google Alert and don’t look into the series for another 20 years. By then there will be at least seven books (#sorrynotsorry).

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